didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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