I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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