It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
If its not for food we ain't going out.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize