i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
