So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
