wat bout pragnant strippers??
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize