i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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