i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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