you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Randomize
