She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Randomize
