AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
