idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
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