He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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