whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Randomize
