i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
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