I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
