Please, let me fuck your mom
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Randomize
