Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Randomize