You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
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