Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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