Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
