I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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