Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
