Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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