THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
