I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
