He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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