Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
