youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Randomize
