1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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