Your favorite bartender is back from prision
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Houston, we have a blender
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
