His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
