somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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