did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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