It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
