I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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