marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I got chris browned last night
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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