at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
