Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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