what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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