I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
