What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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