so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
