did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
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