the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Randomize
