he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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