Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
