my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
vagina is talking i cant
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I party with great urgency now.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
