i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
