I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
