how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
