I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize