Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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