My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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