Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
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