My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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