Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize