Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
