SEEEEXXX PLEASE
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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