Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
if i died would you start the facebook group?
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
