Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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