How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
There r osticjed everywhere
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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