I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
