Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize