Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
