I am in a vortex of obligation.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
