i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
