I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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